Back in February of 2013 I wrote about my experience with the New Warrior Training Adventure: http://triptopine.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/mankind-project-new-warrior-training-adventure-2/
How’s my life now? I’m glad you asked! Life for me has gotten better and better each day; not so much because I’m not dealing with struggle (wife’s cancer diagnosis 11 months ago, chemo for 6 months, doing well now); but rather, because now I am part of a larger community… not just a ‘lone wolf’ out there surviving a ‘cruel world’. (That’s how I used to see things.)
Since I wrote that initial MKP article, I have quit a job that had become a bad fit; spent a year doing part-time work and learning more about who I am; and then found my dream job. I’ve been there a little over a year now.
In addition, I’ve done something I would NEVER have done before MKP: I’ve begun volunteering, in a leadership capacity, for a local conference for preparing 8th grade boys for high school (character development… what does it mean to be a man…). In the past, I have avoided opportunities like this, because I believed that being a leader meant 1) having all of the answers; 2) telling people what to do; and 3) giving up all of one’s time. I thought it would lead to misery, because that’s what I saw all around me.
But the fact is, I feel more alive and energized than ever. I don’t need to have all the answers; I invite brilliant people onto our team. I don’t tell people what to do; I ask questions and offer invitations. 3) I don’t give up all my time; I invest in building relationships with people I admire and respect. It feels amazing.
Sitting in my weekly MKP circle has helped me to build strong relationships with other men in my community, and around the country. Before, I felt isolated, like no one could POSSIBLY understand my pain or sadness. Now I can pick up the phone and easily call 100 men and ask for what I need (knowing I might not get it). And there are MKP men I haven’t even MET yet whom I trust with my truth and my heart. I know they will be real with me, and I can be real with them.
This is the hero’s journey. This is YOUR hero’s journey. You are the hero of your own life. For thousands of years, men like you and me have heard the call of the hero’s journey, and for a time, we resist. That’s what EVERY hero does, initially. I can tell you I was invited to do the NWTA for 3 1/2 years before I decided I was ready to answer the call. And what IS the New Warrior Training Adventure? Simply put, it’s an initiation into the mature masculine.
A few times, I came close to losing out on life. Now I’m so much happier, even when it feels like things are not going my way.
For more information, contact me directly: email@example.com
(Guidance regarding my recent struggles with someone I used to feel closer to.)
He cannot help but misperceive, out of hatred for himself and lack of ability to recognize his own brilliance– his own expression of my perfection. So everything he perceives reinforces his beliefs about himself, as incorrect as they may be.
Your gentleness will help him.
But release attachment to outcome. Know yourself that all comes to completion satisfactorily; ultimately, there is no “losing” that is possible. Your frustration is a reflection / indication of your lack of faith in me– misplaced faith in the ego. It’s part of your journey.
But you can choose to return home at any moment. “Open, says me!” and the door to the heart is thrown wide open.
Judgment is the enemy of connection. It starts with self and then projects out onto others, preventing deep, rich human connection that is so often deflected because of your judgments. Why is that?
We see the tactics of the small mind. We see the small mind does not want to run around unguarded. To have deep human connection is to allow oneself to be unguarded by having a completely open heart. To this the small mind must respond often with resistance by creating things that are untrue or unproven in order to place a deflector shield in front of the body… or around the body.
The deflector shield of judgment evokes responses of fear, anger, envy… all of which the scmall mind uses as disconnects. The small mind says, “Don’t get too close; you’ll be hurt,” while the Divine Soul within you says, “Get close — you’ll be HEART.”
The thing about being in the heart is it requires that the small mind be alert, yet quiet. Here is the key to open heart and open mind: your small mind needs reassurance of safety and when the heart engages in deep connection the small mind becomes disconnected. You must be diligent in practicing integration of all parts of your being, including the small mind. This is the practice of Awareness and the practice of opening the heart at the same time. It is the practice of Wholeness. You could cut off a part of your body to be disconnected from it and that would be ridiculous… just as ridiculous as the small mind’s panic when the heart is doing its thing or the heart “aches” when the small mind engages in its scare tactics.
So the heart must invite the mind i9nto itself, and the mind must invite the heart into itself. It’s as if saying to the parts of yourself, “You are welcome here.” The din of the small mind is quieted by the sense of welcome and no longer needs to jump up and down while screaming, “Here I am! Here I am! Remember me? Ok– let me make my presence known until you pay attention to me!” BAM! There are your judgments, fears, and small mind tactics for attention.
We are not saying there is not a time and a place to pay attention tot eh small mind, for it can keep you safe through its wanderings. We want to remind you that your intuition is just as effective, if not more effective, at serving you as a divine guardian. It works quite well in tandem with an open heart to move you from one point to another without involving the scare tactics of the small mind. Intellect and intuition are two different things that serve different purposes. Intellect analyzes everything, while intuition simply guides you to the place where you need to be, without the need for reasoning. Pay attention to this and begin to practice listening for the difference between these two. See where your heart is in this process of exploration and allow it to open or engage and watch what happens. Don’t judge anything you see in this practice. Simply welcome the small mind and say, “I am listening.” Say this with a gentle smile to keep the heart open and reassure the small mind that all is well.
We also must remind you that self-judgment does not perpetuate an open heart, and that self-judgment spills out into your world through the process of judging others. We want you to pay attention to what you think and judge upon yourself, for that is what you invite into your connection with others. Your heart welcomes the presence of Love, while your judgments only create separation. you can quiet the judgments of the small mind through the love from your open heart. This is what we call you to do.